if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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