therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
