Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
