I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
