going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
