It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize