i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
