She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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