I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize