dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
