ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize