Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
