You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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