Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
