Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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