ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
