why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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