The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
