remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
are you so shy because you have an std?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Boobs are out for the taking
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
