Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
