If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Quick, to the slutcave!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Just high enough for therapy.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
