why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
