The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
