Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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