Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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