So drunk its hurt
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
