Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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