Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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