fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
