Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
