Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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