At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
my sisters under your porch take her home
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
