oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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