I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i can't believe i had my finger in that
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
