around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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