lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
