the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
