You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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