i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
