I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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