nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize