What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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