Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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