There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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