it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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