Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think I died a long time ago.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
