That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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