Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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