I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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