I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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