Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Why is your signature on my underwear?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
