I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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