Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
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