We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
