you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
