I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
