i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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