Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
