this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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