I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
