He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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